Go home.
The Earth's too small for you, after all.
I think we can all see that now. Go home with your father.
Let's make this good-bye.
What? Why? Why are you saying that?
I'm never going back...
I'll stay...forever...with you and the others...
Wait...
Stop it!
Think about it. This isn't where you belong, is it?
Why...?
[Umibozu, Kagura's father, visited Earth to retrieve his daughter.]
[Gintoki fired Kagura and she has decided to leave the Earth.]
["You Can't Judge a Movie by Its Title"]
Young lady, what're you doing in a place like this?
Why don't you come with us?
We take good care of little girls like you.
We'll even sell you to new parents! We're very kind men, you know.
Young lady...
Young lady, what're you doing in a place like this?
And without your umbrella on a day like this.
It's raining today, so I don't need it.
Don't be ridiculous. Umbrellas are supposed to be for rainy days.
If I opened my umbrella on a rainy day, I'd never be able to see the sky.
I want to see the sky, even if it's raining.
Hmm... You'll catch cold.
Pappy!
It was a dreary city of constant rain...
That was our home.
A place where only the unscrupulous could survive.
Others may have seen it as a sewer canal of a place,
but it was a great place to live for sewer rats.
Pappy, when will you come home next?
I just got home and you're already asking me that?
Don't leave anymore, Pappy.
I don't want to see Mommy so sad anymore.
Big brother doesn't come home, and you rarely come home.
I'm lonely.
Your mother's illness will get better soon, I'm sure.
Your older brother will be back soon, as well.
Until then, I have to make money and you have to watch over your mother.
That was our promise.
How many times did I say that to her... Only to leave her in that hellhole, over and over again...
And yet, she was always waiting... Always with a smile for her no-good father.
In the end, we just kept repeating this scene until her mother died.
I never once...was able to make a warm nest for her.
That's why you came to this distant place to find your nest...
We're taking off soon. Get ready to go, Kagura-chan.
How cold of them.
You're with them all this time, and they don't even come to see you off.
I guess you were the only one who felt close to them.
They didn't feel the same way...
The Earth's too small for you, after all.
Let's make this good-bye.
That's how it goes. Monsters like us... People either use us or hate us. One or the other...
In all likelihood, they probably saw us fighting and freaked out.
I'm sorry, Kagura.
I never wanted to see that expression on your face again.
It's all my fault.
Please let me make amends. I won't ever let you feel lonely again.
Even if we cannot live under the rays of the sun, we can live together under the light of the moon.
Kagura... I will protect you. And make this up to you...and your mother.
You stink...
You fired her?!
Keep it down, will you?
Stop talking so loud. Now look what you did.
I cut my toenail to the quick. What're you going to do about this?
You fired Kagura-chan?!
Does that mean Kagura-chan went home together with her father?!
How should I know? She probably did.
It's already been a day. She should be happy.
She always said she was saving up money to go back home. So this saves her the trouble.
And another thing, it's not right, after all.
A little girl shouldn't be living in a strange guy's house anyway.
She's lucky she was with me.
[Lolicon, literally "Lolita Complex," means a fetish for little girls.]
Nowadays you never know when you're gonna meet some sleaze with a lolicon and a polygon.
If I were her father, I'd kill the guy.
I'd stick my fingers up his nose and throw him across the roo--.
Owwww! You broke it off! You tore my nose off! What'd you do that for?!
You disappoint me, Gin-san.
Haven't you ever thought about Kagura-chan's feelings?
Huh? What's so bad about returning a runaway girl back to her father?
You really are stupid! Hopeless! Truly hopeless!
Hey, hopeless specs,
shall I bust those specs of yours and make you just plain "hopeless"?
You don't understand anything!
You have no idea how much Kagura-chan cherished this place!
I won't break even if I'm the last remaining branch.
I'll stick with the tree until the very end.
Kagura-chan thought the world of you...
You don't have to tell me that! We're already living the way we want to.
We came here because we wanted to.
We came here to be with you.
Forget it.
If that's what you really think, then I'm quitting, too.
Seems we were the only ones who thought we were friends.
If you want to quit, then quit.
I don't remember ever asking you or Kagura to come here.
Ouch...my back...
What is it, with all of you...
What? Got a problem with that? I won't feed you.
If you want to leave, you can go right ahead.
What? You won't find her there.
Tsk, you're a sharp one.
It's better this way. I don't really know what it's all about, this father-child thing.
But it's better this way.
This craft may rock or sway during transport.
Please fasten your seatbelts securely around...
your waist and please remain seated until the light goes out.
Sir, you can't. This ship will be leaving shortly.
You must remain seated until we reach stable airspace.
No, no, no, There's a little ship in my bowels that's about to take off too!
Bon voyage!
No, sir, that was not funny.
I'm telling you, I can't! Would it be funnier if I crap in my pants?!
Right here, right now!
Sir, please stop trying to be funny!
My muscles are losing control of the situation! They're losing it!
...ahh...it came out.
Get with it! Work faster, dammit!
That container goes here! That goes there!
That one, there! What is this place?
This is the luggage bay.
Who is that bossy old man?
He's, you know, a butler for that prince.
The idiotic prince of the Midland Star.
So all this creepy cargo belongs to that prince?
It's a collection of terrible taste. He's got to be dumb... Look at this stuff...
Be careful with that! These are all the Prince's treasures.
If you put so much as a scratch on them, I'll tear you limb from limb, I will!
All right.
Okay, I'm going back to my seat now.
But if you insult me behind my back, I swear I'll break your necks!
What?!
Hey! What've you done to the Prince's treasure?!
Tsk, who put this junk in my way!
He said junk! He called the Prince's treasure junk!
Stop making a scene. He's not going to notice one piece of junk missing, you ass!
Old man, you're insane.
Never mind. Hurry and clean this up. There'll be hell to pay if that idiot finds out.
A mop... Bring a mop. Huh?
Odd... Hey, where is the thing that was inside this?
What? How would we know? Was there something inside?
There should've been something similar to those things.
What? A monster like these?!
That's odd. How could a corpse disappear by itself?
Just a minute... You can't go in there.
Sir, you can't go through here without a ticket!
We'll call the police!
Wait! Listen! Listen to me!
My, uh, girlfriend!
My girlfriend was kidnapped by an old guy with a hairdo like barcode
and the two of them are trying to run off on their honeymoon.
You expect me to believe you have a girlfriend.
You look like you haven't had a girlfriend for 16 years!
And what the hell is that supposed to mean?! How do you know my age?
Okay, I lied, I lied.
I was just trying to make myself look good.
The truth is, the barcode guy is my father.
He was tricked by a young girl looking for a sugar daddy and dumped his family.
Now he's about to commit suicide with her.
Don't lie to me! You look like your father already died!
How did you know? How come you know that?
Kagura-chan.
I don't know what kind of life you led before.
And I don't know how you feel about your father.
But, I do know how much you loved Odd Jobs.
I know how much you cherished Gin-san.
I know, because...
I feel the same!
I'm sorry!
The three of us, together forever... I realize it would be impossible.
Someday... I knew we'd have to part.
But right now...
Man, that was an awful experience. Let me tell you about it, Kagura-chan.
Kagura-cha...
Right now, I still...
Hey... Hey! What is that?!
It's a man! There's a man on the ladder!
Wait! Wait!
Kagura-chan!! Where are you going?!
Odd Jobs means the three of us! Together!
Whatever Gin said to you, ignore him! He's a moron!
He doesn't even pay you a decent wage!
I can't handle that idiot by myself! I need you back at Odd Jobs with me!
That nimrod! What a stupid thing to do!
Shinpachi...
Shinpachi.
Shinpa...
Pappy!
You...
Emergency alarm! Emergency alarm!
We have an emergency at Gate 7!
All personnel, report to your posts immediately.
We repeat: all personnel, report to your posts immediately.
What is that thing?!
At least it's not coming this way! It's not coming this way, is it?
Oh god! It's coming this way!
Alien? Never heard the word. Sounds like a candy shop.
Is that Eirian?
[Eirian]
Well, we're not handing Earth over to the likes of you, bozos.
Earth belongs to us yakuza!
What? You'll what...? Uh...um... That's cruel.
You're, you know what, if you do that sort of thing, uh...
That's so wrong!
The battle of... Alien vs. Yakuza!
And so the battle for a planet begins!
What will be the fate of Earth?
You can see the rest of this story in the theater.
No one's coming! Who'd want to come?!
Who's gonna fall for this lame teaser?! Look at you losers!
Were you even listening at the meeting?
What's up with "That's so wrong"? What's wrong is you guys!
You think standing there frozen is gonna impress me?
You're serious only about the part that doesn't matter!
And after I went through the trouble to get you work.
Forget it, you guys. Just shut up and hold the damned flags.
Sadaharu-kun, keep your butt quiet, too, please.
Hey, Gin-san, what happened to the others?
That nondescript guy with the glasses and that China girl? With their help, it would be...
How would I know. I can do anything myself even if they aren't around.
Why? Because Gin-san is very versatile.
Hey, don't completely ruin my image of "versatile."
Hey, Hasegawa-san, the boss is calling for you.
What? This isn't good. He said if we didn't show results, he'd fire us on the spot.
No point bringing in a crowd today. Nobody's gonna want to come and see fake aliens.
You see?
People got a real alien to worry about.
Hey, where is that? Is that the terminal?
Seems a huge alien took over a ship and caused an accident.
Can we get our camera closer?
I'm sorry, uh...can you see it, everyone?
A mysterious creature has caused an accident involving a ship inside the terminal.
You can see the nose of the crashed spaceship where it breached the terminal wall.
There is concern for the safety of the passengers.
It's frightening.
But what is this sinister creature?
Huh? Just a minute... Is that a person?
I'm positive. It is a man! A man!
Huh? A young girl?!
Oh my gosh. It's a young girl!
A lone young girl is on the spaceship's hull...
and it looks as if she's fighting
H-Hey, Gin-san... That's...!
I don't believe it. Is she human?!
Hey... Hey...pull yourself together, lad. Hey.
Am I in the world of the dead?
I don't see gardens of flowers. I see a burnt plain.
Whose head are you calling a burnt plain?
You want to go to hell? You want to live happily forever in a flower garden?
Umibozu-san?
Quickly, get outta here, lad. Or you'll be killed.
Who'd have thought it'd still be alive?
And where'd he eat enough to get that big?
I should've made sure he was dead.
It'll engulf this place soon. Get going.
What about you, Baldy?
Who the hell are you calling "Baldy", boy?
I don't see Kagura-chan.
Knowing her, she probably remained on the ship to look after the others.
Wait.
I'm coming too. I just can't leave...Kagura-chan there.
You'll get in my way. Go home.
From here on, it's a battlefield. Weak life forms like you will only be a liability.
This is where we belong.
Those eyes.
But I...
I told you: we live in a different world.
Forget about Kagura. You'll only make her unhappy.
Do you think people can change so easily?
No, people can't change.
She struggled and struggled, but in the end, she couldn't change.
All the pain of trying to change...was just that. Pain.
Help us!
Quickly! This way!
There it is! The Alien has exploded in size!
This is dangerous. Way too dangerous!
Even I feel like running away.
It's dangerous. Clear out of here!
Ack! It's the Shinsengumi. The guardians of Edo,
The Shinsengumi armed police have arrived on the scene.
We'll be fine now.
Alien, you are completely surrounded. Give yourself up quietly.
Huh? What are you doing?
Your mother back in your hometown is crying!
She didn't raise you to be this kind of alien.
Right, Mom?
Say something.
What? Are you serious?! I don't believe this!
Do you know what your father said just before he died?
Until the very end, Daddy cared only about you.
What the hell are you guys doing?!
The Bakufu gave this Terminal "Architectural Landmark" status.
If we start shooting, It'll be our heads that roll.
This is no time for that! All our heads will roll if you don't do something!
Hey! If you don't get away quickly, you'll get killed!
What is it with you?
You leave the press to die while you escape in a patrol car?!
What's with you people?!
I never imagined that thing would still be alive.
I don't know how it got here, but it's turned into a major disaster.
Seems it's tougher than we imagined.
Apparently, the more it eats, the bigger it gets. And it eats energy.
Which makes it especially bad news that it's making the terminal its nest.
Incredible amounts of energy pump through this place to teleport ships.
This thing's sudden growth is because it's consuming the immense energy flowing though the terminal.
This is bad. At this rate, Edo will be devoured.
What're you shooting?!
Ow ow ow ow!
I'm scared!
What's going to happen to Edo?
What's going to happen to me? I'm unemployed again.
Why should I care if Edo gets destroyed?
Ack! What's that?!
Something's coming this way...flying past the fleeing crowd.
Is that a...dog?
No...a samurai?!
Boss?!
What're you...?!
Is this a TV camera? A camera?
Um... "Alien vs. Yakuza," the movie...
Playing in theaters now. Don't miss it.
What just happened?! Who is that mysterious man?!
Wait! It's dangerous!
Gin-san, you're too late. We've already been fired.
Kagura-chan!
Where are you?! Pappy's right here!
This is bad.
This is the toughest fight since that time I eradicated the giant cockroach.
No, since the fight I had with the wife when we were newlyweds.
Oh, are you guys hurt or just taking a dump?
Hang in there, assistant manager.
Hey, what's with the demotion?
Are you all right? How'd you get that thing on your forehead?
Did the alien do that to you?
These are the marks of our exalted people!! Fool!!
Her umbrella...
Hey, have you seen Kagura?! You saw her, didn't you?
A cute girl with big round eyes that look exactly like mine!
I'm not responsible! I'm not responsible! It's not my fault!
It's the Prince's fault! It's because he keeps a collection of monsters!
What? It's not my fault!
The customs people should have checked to make sure it was dead!
Boss!
That fool! Does he want to get killed?!
Sadaharu, time for your walk.
Today, you're free to poop or play wherever you want. You can go wild.
Let's go!
What?
She's a girl with refined facial features who looks just like me. Have you seen her?
I have. I saw a cute girl who looks like you!
Is she a queen of some planet? She was a truly cute darling of a girl.
You should've told me! Please...
I'm an old man and I'm impatient.
Over there.
But it's too...
She rescued us, but the monster...
Kagura!
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
Oh my! Gin-san was eaten by the alien!
And Baldy is hurt trying to protect the injured Kagura-chan.
Isn't that the Bakufu's battleship?!
If she fires with all cannons, everyone will be killed.
The next episode: "You Know What Happens if You Pee on a Worm."
[A giant alien puts Edo on the brink of destruction.]
[What is the fate of Kagura, who is on the brink of death?! And where is Gintoki?!]